Self: Gold Star

from The Hexaflex EP by Scott McKinstry

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about

The second pivot is Self. Who do you think you are? Kind? Successful? Worthless?

The story I've long told to myself, about myself, is that I am special. But, inevitably, something happens to show that I am not. Then what am I?

The Self pivot helps you to become aware of the stories you tell about who you are, and see them for what they are: stories.

lyrics

In Kindergarten class I learned to fly
teacher's top drawer held the passport to my high.
A sheet of gold stars for when we shined
sorting left from right, finding words that rhymed.

I wanna earn that gold star
so they'll see what I'm made of
'cause when I earn that gold star
I will be loved

Goofing with the glue, dripping runny white snot
Ben and Gus giggled, teacher did not.
But I won her too when I stood up to recite
the Pledge of Allegiance and got every word right.

Oh, how I love my gold star
come and see what I'm made of
as long as I've got my gold star
I will be loved

Feeling kind of played
like a puppet on a string
singing for my supper
like a jester to a king
I'm on top now
but the tide can turn fast
I wanna find a way to make it last

On my fifth sheet of paper botching Superman's 'S'
five minutes into recess I'm the only one left.
I see the kids outside, laughing, playing tag
it's not a game I'll win, but I've got legs
so I might as well join them and go play.

I don't need this gold star
to know what I'm made of
'cause underneath this gold star
I'm made of love
you're made of love
every single one of us
is made of love

credits

from The Hexaflex EP, released March 12, 2022

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about

Scott McKinstry Edmonds, Washington

Scott McKinstry is a singer-songwriter living in the Pacific Northwest.

Sign up to his twice-monthly newsletter at scottstoriesandsongs.com/get-the-latest/

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